A Fresh Start

I feel like I'm in a bit of a weird space at the moment. Not bad, just weird.

To be honest, saying goodbye to Phantom a little over a week ago has been a bit of a relief.

There were a few times over the winter that I thought she really wasn't comfortable and that I might to have to make the decision sooner than later. After Cisco left in March, Phantom seemed to have a harder time than usual sorting out the new hierarchy with her longtime companions.  I don't know if Cisco looked out for her more than I thought.

There were also moments where I wondered if she was having some vision issues in her left eye. She would sometimes make a point of putting me on her right side when I went out to catch her, and when leading her on her left she sometimes bumped her head into me.

She just hadn't been engaged or interested in much for quite a while.

Except her hay. Her very large belly for the last couple of months was indicative of that.

If Cisco hadn't gone I might have made her appointment in the spring. But I couldn't do that to myself at that time. However, when I refilled her Prascend in April, I only got the small box.

The original plan wasn't to get another horse right away. But, since plans changed, I knew that this summer would be Phantom's last. Once her Prascend ran out, it would be scheduled.

So I had about 3 months to get used to the idea. Thus, I've dealt with my grief and I'm ready to move forward.

A big part of moving forward has meant cleaning out my tack box and getting it down to one horse worth of stuff. I don't really want to get rid of anything yet until I figure out what Stitch will end up going in, so that means bringing it home and trying to figure out somewhere to store it. I have enough blankets to fully clothe 3 horses, all the same sizes, that are too big at the moment but will probably fit Stitch next year. They're all getting washed and stored in vacuum bags to try to squish as many as I can into a few containers in the garage. I think I pulled out 3 halters, 3 breastplates, and a couple sets of reins just off the one door - they all got dumped in a bin.

This was two grooming kits that I had to thin down to one. I found the Swat I knew I had but couldn't find - that stuff is coveted up here because we can't buy it any more!

I also now have the ability to take a night off from the barn since I don't have to dispense medication - not that I have as of yet. It's been my routine for the last three or four years to be out almost every day so it's taking a bit to break that habit. It's going to happen this week though, as I have an event to attend on Wednesday evening and a late work shift on Thursday. Not to mention I fully expect to wake up on Tuesday morning with a stuffed up head to go with Monday's sore throat and croaky voice. That might be a good reason to take a day off.

So things just feel a bit weird. The greys, who were very much a pair in my mind, are gone. I have a new horse, in a new colour, who I am very excited about. We're taking the slow road, but that's OK- I've already told him he's not allowed to go anywhere for at least 15 years. I might be over this year by that point.